What I'm Wearing: Blazer - Apt 9, Shirt - Calvin Klein, Tie - Forever 21, Skinny Suit Pants - H&M
"Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"
Happy Christmas. Another year is over and it's time to turn the page to the next chapters of our lives. I honestly feel this past year has gone by at the speed of lighting. So much happened and it feels like it was all a second ago. We are now here on a Christmas day with one more week of 2017. I have to say, I wasn't the biggest fan of this year. As you already know from pages prior this, it wasn't an easy year. Just because it was another year filled with difficult trials, does not mean I will end it looking back in hate. We are tested every year and regardless if we pass it, Christmas comes to give us a reassurance of hope for what's to come. On Christmas day we ask ourselves what have we done? Once December 26th comes we start to prep ourselves to move forward. We end one war within ourselves and prep for the battles to come. We take our battle scars and patch them with the heart on our sleeves and the hope we receive on Christmas day.
Red is bright. Red can be related to anger or joy. I wanted to end the year differently, with a holiday suit that meshes how I feel all together. For me red is burning. There is a fire in my soul that is determined to find a light to shine down on me. These past few months have honestly felt like a timer and i'm trying my best to not waste a second. I turned 22 this year, my mom turned 60, my career celebrated 10 years, I went through turmoil with my first serious adult relationship, I almost lost my parents in a major accident, My dad got his truck stolen and never got it back, I grew closer to people I love, Peter Parker came home to Marvel, I still am battling Glaucoma, and so much more darkness to battle the light that has happened behind the scenes, that I will not talk about at this time. It's been a long short year. I'm glad it's ending. I'm ready to put the past behind me and go on. When I was 16 I gave myself a plan. Within a year of that plan I reached my goals. My plan included graduating early, releasing my first record, making enough money to move away, getting my first apartment at 17, and living on my own in LA at 17. That seems like a pretty large plan for a young teenager. I did it though. I accomplished what I wanted to within that year of my life. I'm 22 now and headed into the last 5 months of being a 22 year old. To say I was robbed of my later teens and early twenties is an understatement. That's where the green tie comes in. I have made it clear that Glaucoma is a major part of my life. Green is the color of the disease and I make sure it is visible on me because it makes me who I am. I haven't got a chance to live a life like people my age. I grew up pretty fast, I became an adult pretty early, but I never got a chance to do the whole young adult stuff. I went straight into senior citizen land with my eye. I used to wish I had chance to live a life like other people my age. I don't anymore. As my disease progresses and my life evolves, I have become more accepting to what has happened to me. I now proudly wear my green no matter how hard it may be sometimes. I was different person before I got sick. I like this new version of me better. This disease may have got me stuck for awhile, but it evolved me into a better version of myself. The black shades of this look is to honor the true darkness of the year. I have to honor the dark because I still feel that even though the war will be over this year, part of it continues in the new year. We have to take the lessons learned and use them to patch us back up when we fall. So much bad has happened this year. I won't bring up all of it because I don't need any more darkness to illuminate over my family. However I will always personally address it because it is something that happened. The one lesson I want to highlight is this - My mom always thought us that when someone does you wrong you don't go out and do wrong yourself. Getting revenge and vengeance is not the way to go. The best revenge you can give is by finding a way to live the happiest version of your life. Sure, you may be hurt but take that hurt and let it fuel a fire in your soul to do good. Christmas is a time of hope and love. All the pain you have faced, let that hope and love inspire you to do better. Satan is a powerful figure. Don't ever let it try to control and blind you from what really matters in life. That is why I added the shades of black to this suit, to remind myself about the darkness. Even though darkness can bring you down, you'll have some sort of red to remind you why you need to be a beckon of hope, why you need to be a fire that can't be tamed. Then you have the green to remind you about what makes you weak can also make you stronger.
Through our style and fashion, we always wear apart of our souls and make it visible. Our clothes describe how we feel/ how we want to feel. That's one thing I learned a lot about this year. Through these pages of my life an outfit goes with each of them. It has given me the chance to explore parts of my heart and soul that I needed tapping into. As a songwriter having pages of a diary to balance out the emotions in my music has given me something to reference my true feelings and intentions. I realize more and more each day how my story is apart of a larger plan. As I celebrate Christmas with the ones I love, I turn all this darkness into a beautiful ending and a hopeful brand new beginning. My wish for myself and everyone is that we all have a better year. I truly hope things will get better and we will finally stand in the light and be free from everything.
"Let It Go"
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone.
Through it all, every little thing is gonna be alright.
END OF: Chapter 4
Photographer: Joanna Wheeler
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 4
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)