"Our Lady Of Fatima Part 1"
What a week it has been! I'm literally drained. Every October is a busy month for our family. You already know mom's birthday came and went. Now it's time for Fatima day. Since I was kid my mom has brought in the fatima to our home for 17 years. Every year on her birthday she brought in dear lady and we would have a party. This year was the last year for that. That is why we went all out for her sweet 16. My mom is now in charge of an organization called America Needs Fatima. She began her duties last year and her along with my god mother, and my aunt (who's more like my grandma now) have decided to make everything in one and starting next year there will just be one Fatima event, instead of several. It's bittersweet, but it is comforting knowing that the Fatima event will live on in another form. My family has been here all week prepping for mom's bday party/fatima and the America Need's Fatima event at a local park in Northern California. I grew up in and around the church. My mom raised us on prayers and faith and believing in god and a higher power. She also raised us to love each and every person as if they were our own blood. You already know that in my teens I strayed away from prayer and all these events. I really wanted no part of it. It took me to get sick, to really get into this. That is just the sad truth of it all. I mean, my relationship with god definitely became stronger after my Grandma passed away, but it became a solid rock when I got sick. Growing up in a Chamorro household, you'll learn that prayers are a big part of it. I used to shy away from my heritage but as you can see, I have never been more connected to who I am, than I am right now. It is an honor for me to honor my mom, my culture and everything that has made me who I am. I look to my elders like my Grandpa who came all the way down to celebrate mom's special day and stuck around for the Fatima. What I love about what i have learned from prayers, is that forgiveness is very possible. For some time my family did not get along with my Grandpa. Mistakes were made on his end and you know, that's obviously a huge elephant in the room. I'm gonna be honest, I hated him. I really did for all he had done. I was hurt and I was hurt to see my dad hurt. It took me a while to want to have some sort of relationship with him. That doesn't mean I didn't pray for him. Regardless of all the bad he did to my Grandma and all the hurt he caused our family, I prayed for him. It was through those prayers that our family found a way to meet him on common ground. He's getting older and weaker and i'm not gonna stand here and despise my grandfather for mistakes he made in the past. The past is in the past and we are moving forward. My grandma always said, never have hatred, you may not forget, but you can forgive. It was through Our Lady Of Fatima that he came back in our lives. He showed up last year after being a wall for a good 4 years. He showed up again this year and through our prayers he has somehow become closer to us than ever. Some of you may not believe in god, but I appreciate you supporting my belief. Things like this is important to us. Look at all the good it can do to our lives. I'm so grateful my Auntie Mom has been doing this since the 90's. It's bittersweet to see this incarnation of it come to an end but it's beautiful knowing that people like my mom, will bring the gift of Our Lady Of Fatima to a whole a new audience in a brand new way. This saint and what she stands for is so beautiful. If i'm being honest, I get real emotional sitting there in quiet reading off the fatima prayer. When you are so spiritually connected to something like this, you'll get what I mean. I was talking to my bro Dan, and I said, I tried so hard to hide the religious aspects of my life though my music. I bring up god quite often within the newer songs I am writing. It's not christian music, but he is important for the stories I have to tell. So why hide it? It is apart of who I am and this year I have become so proud of who I am and who I continue to become. I'm at such a beautiful fragile place in my life. I continue to learn new things and evolve with the people I love around me. I owe a great deal of that to those above. I'm honored to come from a household that can bring love and hope to people who may need it. I'm so grateful that my mom is in charge of this, there is no other woman better suited for the job. Why do you think I want to make a change in the world? Look at who's around me, where come I from, how I was raised. Then you'll understand.
Photographer: Dom Baza
What i'm wearing: T-Shirt: Local Guam Shop, Jeans & Boots - H&M
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 8
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)