"The Only Living Boy In New York"
New York, the city that literally everyone lives in. I have seen the most diversity I have ever seen. I mean, LA & SF are diverse, but this is double of those 2 of my hometowns. They may not sleep here and I get it, there is so much to do, but damn, i'm feeling tired. Maybe it is because of the rain going on outside of Union Square. I'm currently sitting inside of the Eric Kayser Artisan Boulanger Parisian bakery. I'm so damn hungry. I barely ate yesterday. I only had lunch at the Butchers Daughter. Which was delicious, btw. Dash wanted Olive Garden for dinner. I'm obviously not able to eat much there. I'm eating this weird french vegan sandwich right now. It is not so bad, but like I said it is weird. The bakery itself is really cute. If Courtney was here she would want to shoot here. Is it bad that I really find myself missing my family and i'm only here for a week? If I do choose to live here and it all works out, I need friends. I don't perform until tomorrow evening and I hope i'm able to meet some new friends there. I feel kinda lonely tbh. I mean, Dash is here, but she's on her vacation. I'm here to look around and see if I can slot myself into this world and have it mix with mine. I can see it, I can see this world blending with mine, I just have to figure out how to slot myself in. That is proving to be difficult as I expected. New York is literally LA and SF put together. But when you mix the best of both worlds, you end up with something more. In this case, New York is the definition of extra. Sam told me a few weeks ago that this is better shared with someone, rather than by yourself. Honestly, I get that now. I didn't get that before, but now I do. It feels like I am in a dream right now, like this is me in the world I know, but don't know at the same time. It is me stripped away from what I know. I have always been ready to dive in head first, I just didn't know it would be harder than I expected. People here are not as nice as California. I don't know if it is because they need more sun in their life or they need a gratitude check. They are a little more rude and cold here. That is going to have to take some adjusting to. It threw me off. Not all people are bad though. After that hell of an airbnb experience, we were so lucky to get a much better place to stay. Our airbnb host is amazing. We got along great as soon as I arrived. Him and his wife invited me to dinner tonight. I've been out all day and to go with them was a breath of fresh air. They are the first people to make me feel accepted here. They took me in like an adopted son and have taken care of me. Their kindness means the world to me and having them hear me out really was something I needed. It feels like being with family and that is something that is missing here. Being able to talk about my loved ones back home with them, it made me feel a little less homesick. They didn't have to take me for dinner, but they chose to do that because they see something in me. I'm so glad someone does because right now I feel like the only living boy in New York. I went from being not so normal and standing out in SF. Now I feel like I just blend in on the outside, but my inside is still me and still vastly different from the souls that surround me. I wish these people had something to light their souls up and be as open and as accepting as my new friends, my airbnb fairy god parents. Hearing about their life story and the hard work they put in to built a life here, that is something I can totally relate to. Building a life here is difficult, it is going to be real hard. Especially since I don't have my safety nets here. I need to figure out how to make a "family" of my own here, figure out who I can trust, who I bring into my life to better myself. Who's going to help me further this story along and get me to my destination in life. I can't be like these people here who have obviously lost a little bit of their soul along the way. Not unless their souls are hardened and need some loving care. I'm delicate compared to these people and maybe that is a good and bad thing. But I can't loose who I have become, I can add to it, but I can't loose what my heart stands for. My soul, my drive and my fire is what differs me from everyone else and I must continue to let that shine through, even if people don't understand that, even if they don't believe in me like they do back home. Even if that means i'll be the only living boy in New York.
Photographer: Dashia Robinson
What i'm wearing: Sweater - Vintage find, Jacket - Forever 21, Jeans - H&M, Shoes - Apt 9
Every post I will include the song that inspired me to build a post around it's title
Stories From My Life - Chapter 12
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Stories From My Life
(APRIL 17- PRESENT)