CHAPTER 4: The Times They Are A-Changing
Entry #25: "Here I Go"
I do not take every year for granted. Especially after I almost died this past year. If anything, I am more determined to continue living life outside of my comfort zone. I was supposed to be in New York right now. My sister Courtney was supposed to be with me for my birthday. My brothers, and our family, we were going to paint NYC green, for Uncle DD's 25th year. I still believe that is possible. Maybe not for my 25th, but somewhere down the line. I wish I could be with everyone on my special day. But I don't feel alone. I feel so happy and full of love, from the love of my family, and the love I give myself. I'm ready to blow out the candles on the vegan birthday cake I made for myself. I couldn't get one made, and I don't sit around and wait for anyone, so I made it myself. Always do something for yourself. You can do it yourself, never forget that. What do I wish for? I can't say that out loud, or it won't come true. What I will say is, thank you, thank you, thank you, god, and everyone looking out for me. Thank you for giving me another year to make memories that will stick with me for life. Thank you for the good and the bad. Thank you for the then and the now. I hope for this golden year, that I continue to love myself and feel free and empowered within my voice and body. I hope to love as I have never loved before. I hope to be loved as I have never been loved before. I hope to continue seeing beyond what is considered normal. I hope to continue to speak my truth and own my inner power. I hope to continue standing on a stage and sharing my story, my inner thoughts and feelings, with the world. Most of all, I hope I continue to own my self worth and continue to love myself and every single flaw. I felt like I was worthless and unworthy of being on this earth. I now know my worth and couldn't be more proud to show that off. I'm proud to be in a world of the lovers... the dreamers... and ME. From my scars to my illness, I love myself, and I'm grateful, honored, and proud, to be here, another year, to blow out the candles on my 25th birthday, my golden year. Here I Go...
Photographer: RL BAZA
What I'm Wearing: Shirt - Good Fellow, Jeans - Levis