CHAPTER 4: The Times They Are A-Changing
Entry #32: "Overboard"
Life is hard to deal with. It can rock one moment, and the next moment feels like rock bottom. I think that's why I invested so much self-care into myself when quarantine started. I didn't want to bring myself down after leaving such a high plot point in my story in New York. As much grief as I feel for myself on some days, like I did on Friday and Saturday, I have to remind myself I have already come so far. I have done things I didn't think was going to be possible after getting diagnosed with Glaucoma. I am not the boy that had to use dark glasses all the time, I am not the boy who needed the walking stick. I have evolved away from who he was. Now that I have stepped into this evolution, how does this evolved version of myself deal with the problems that have been lingering for too long? I honestly don't know. All I know is, I am a fighter. As scary as these uncertain moments, from my health to the state of the world, I have no choice but to fight. Just because my body feels like it is ready to start giving in, and giving up, doesn't mean I am ready for it to make that decision for me. I may not be able to control how my body feels, but I can control how I feel. I don't feel like surrendering yet, I still have a lot of fight left in me. I just hope it can clear soon so I can feel like my head is above water because even a fighter gets tired of drowning and struggling to rise above water for a breath of air.
Photographer: RL BAZA
What I'm Wearing: Sweater - American Eagle, Pants - Uniqlo, Beanie - Adam Levine